Why ask why?

I wanted to start with something really common,probably something that anyone can relate to. I've often found myself wondering how and why the world has turned out like this. Don't get me wrong, there's so much positive about it as well. Without a question, there's a lot that each individual can appreciate in their own lives. It's often easy to just complain and whine, but it's important to remember that things could always be worse.

My point in here is not whine as much as just pose some questions that I've been contemplating and ideas that run through my mind non-stop. It may seem like a long list of grievances or something but they are merely just curiosities.

Today the focus will explicitly be on the word 'why'. Why is that when one is ready and willing to literally give a heart for someone, it often happens that, as the sun sets down, the one you love the most end up hurting you (and I mean, in particular, relationships)? I just recently had this kind of experience. In fact it is so recent that it's still on-going. It has kept me up at nights lately. But if some kind of solution is to be found, it was all worth it.

Of course, it takes two to tango, so no one is really able to escape the blame. However, it does feel..obscure and frustrating, when you are in a situation where you think that everything's fine and out of the clear blue sky comes not just the rain but the whole sky.

It is not my intention to demonize anyone in particular, especially 'cause I am by no means flawless or without a guilt. But don't you think that it's often strange that something simple like just saying "I'm sorry" and really meaning it, seems to be the hardest thing in the world? In particular when you know that it would have the potential to heal so many wounds?

Of course, all this discussion is much like the pot calling the kettle black; it doesn't really make anyone innocent. But as I said in the opening statements, a lot of this is actually me talking to myself 'cause sometimes when you just wonder things in your mind, it seems even a bigger mess. It's a sigh of relief to be able to write some of the thoughts down on "paper".

I'm a trying my darnest to be the possible me that I can be and I know that I still have a long way to go. The love that I got so far from so many people has made me what I am and I am thankful for every smile and cheer that I've received. But it's still true that time after time you cannot help but feeling somehow lonely. It's not so obvious or easily explained.

That's the time when the questions always creep up in your mind.."why"...